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Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Halloween Whorror Show

It's that time of year again! When Halloween stores everywhere try to get us all to dress like hobags. Deva, my blogging buddy from MyLifeSuckers and I started looking at some of the costumes out there this year and HOLY HELL!
We came across a whole category of sexy children’s character costumes. You know, costumes that SHOULD NOT EXIST. (The phrase “sexy children's character costumes” shouldn’t even exist!)
It’s not like we want everyone to dress like nuns on Halloween. We're fine with sexy cop, sexy nurse, blah, blah, blah. If you're an adult and you want to dress up like a Skankenstein or Freddy Cougar, hell if you wanna be a sexy OBGYN, knock yourself out. But what we’re NOT fine with is Sexy Olaf. Is nothing sacred??  Here are 10 sexy children’s character costumes that should not exist:

HO-laf. Do you want to build a Ho-man?

Ho White: Hi HO, Hi HO- Off to do seven dudes I go!

F’ing Nemo: Just Keep Skanking!

TeenageMutantNinja Tart: BOOTY-YAKASHA

Butt Lightyear: To Chlamydia! and Beyond!

Screw-ella de Vil – She likes it doggy style!

Booty and the Beast: Profession as old as time? 

What Does The Fox Say? Slut-slut-slut-slut-slutty slut!

Despicable She: She's a MILFy minion  

Burt and Horny: These costumes brought to you by the letters W.T.F.

So please, before you deck yourself out as a sexy Disney character this year, THINK OF THE CHILDREN! We don't want to explain to our daughters why Olaf suddenly has two DD snowballs.